Civil War reenactments are weird. But before I get into that, I want to take a moment to respond to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge I received earlier today from fan of the site Justin Keller.

That’s right, you heard me, Gen. Amos and Paul Szoldra. 

I’m calling you out.

Generally, this challenge calls for you to either donate $100 to the ALS Association or dump ice water on your head. Since I’m a Marine, and I do things balls out or not at all (literally, I’m wearing silkies here), not only did I dump fucking freezing ice water on my head, but I also donated $100 to the ALS Association under the name of Terminal Lance. As far as the video goes, I just want to note that it might not look like there’s ice in there, but that’s just cause a lot of it melted while I was rehearsing what to say over and over. Since it sat for a bit, the water was also fucking ridiculously cold and a lot more brisk than I had expected, which is why the look on my face is one I hope to never make again.

My camera girl, Melissa, cut the video off right as I was saying, “That is fucking cold.” (direct quote)

Here is proof of my donation to the ALS Association:


Screen Shot 2014-08-19 at 12.33.31 AM

So anyway, Civil War reenactments.

I was always admittedly creeped out by these things a little. It’s like a bunch of people dressing up as guys that are dead and reenacting what was possibly the most traumatic and terrifying part of their lives. I also always wondered where the line was for reenacting. Is it a green light once everyone in that particular conflict is officially dead? Is that the line? This comic is only partly accurate, mostly because I’m sure if they ever did do an Iraq War Reenactment or some such, I imagine it would be exclusive to the more action-packed segments, of which I certainly wouldn’t be portrayed in.

In any case, I fully understand that these reenactments are treated with reverence and respect for the events they depict.

What I do not understand, is why people in the South seem to want to watch themselves lose so many times.